point out now what we're careless of

I am 16 hours away from the start of my Greek final, meaning that I am only 19 short hours away from being done with Greek.  I am excited but at the same time I’m a little sad.  Yes, I realize how weird that sounds.  But to be honest, I’ve really enjoyed learning Greek.  Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I’m not some crazy smart Greek scholar.  I don’t know everything there is to know about Greek.  But I’ve learned a lot.
Today a few of us from class took a little trip down to the archives of the library to check out some amazing things.  We got to see the evolution of the Bible (the new testament at least).  we saw some copies of an original Greek manuscript and then a few different versions of the original Greek bibles as well as the Gutenberg Bible which is in Latin.  We saw early English translations and heard some funny quotes from the scribes who were responsible for creating the original manuscripts.
It was fascinating.  I probably uttered the phrase “this is amazing” at least 30 times in that hour and forty-five minutes.  To think that our faith has such history.  To think back to the early days when scribes sat and copied down the text so that we could eventually read it all these years later.  The process that the scribes when through and the process that critics had to go through after them.  It is an amazing story of how many people have contributed over the years to providing us with a readable copy of the New Testament.  Astonishing.
While I could go on about this for hours, that’s not the point of this post.  I am sure that a lot of these thought processes will grace the blog in the coming few years that I spend at North Park but for now, a little reflection as I look forward to not only finishing Greek but getting the keys to my new apartment, going home to get my stuff and say good-bye to Colorado, to moving into my new apartment and starting this new chapter in my life.
I think back to that day about a year and a half ago when Tim sat me down in his office to talk about life after my internship.  I remember him pulling out that application to NPTS and my heart totally dropping.  I remember him asking me why I was suddenly crying and while I couldn’t entirely voice it, I knew it had to do with feeling inadequate.  I thought he felt as though I was not ready for ministry full-time.  I thought he felt I couldn’t do this job.  It was a long journey to get to the point that I’m at now, looking forward to the next few years at NP.
People have told me I’m crazy.  People have told me it’s the right next step.  People have told me I’ll regret it.  People have told me I’m just running away from life for a while.  I’ve had the whole spectrum of reactions to the statement, “I’m moving to Chicago to go to Seminary.”  And while I know that it will be harder to leave home this time, especially with the birth of my niece approaching rapidly, I know this is where God is taking me.
These past six weeks have been brutal.  I won’t lie that spending hours upon hours in the library or at Starbucks memorizing paradigms, grammar rules, vocabulary words is not how I imagined spending my summer.  Nor have I been loving the muggy grossness that is a Chicago summer.  However, I have already seen places in my life that I’ve been growing and where God is preparing me for ministry.  He has reignited the fire in my heart for Him and for His people.
So my prayer for being in Seminary is that my heart would be open to whatever God has in store for me.  That my excitement to learn be fueled and that I would push to know Him more, even in classes that might be boring or hard to handle.  I pray that I would have people in my life that would push me to be better.  I pray that I find a church to attend and serve in.  I pray that I would care more about how I am loving others than how they are loving me.  I pray that my eyes be opened to wonders anew and that I would be able to see Him all around me.  I pray that my insecurities would not keep me from His will for my life.
All this to say, I’m glad to be on this side of the process.  I’m thankful for those in my life who have continued to encourage and support my passions and goals.  Thankful for those how have and continue to walk down this road with me and who have spoken truth into my life.  Seminary isn’t about not being good enough yet, it’s about so much more and while I don’t yet know what that looks like in my life, I’m excited to see where it takes me.

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