what a day to welcome a baby to begin breathing

This is Bizzy.  She entered the world (and my heart) on Friday, August 27th at 9:06 p.m. weighing in at 5 lbs 15 oz, and 19.5 inches.  She stole my heart the moment my brother sent me a picture.  Yes, sent me a picture because as most of you know, I have started my seminary adventure and now live in Chicago, she however, was born in Colorado.
My brother has sent me a few videos and about 26 pictures of this little love.  I think he might be proud or something.  She is a little darling and although she is only a few days old, I already know that she has me wrapped around those long little fingers.  (a piano player like her Tia Eisha perhaps?)
Do not get me wrong, I am super excited for my brother, sister-in-law and my now two nieces.  I am so happy that she came out healthy and happy. I am however, not happy that she has entered the world without me there to hold her, to pray for her, to kiss her, to hug her, to sing her to sleep, to change her diapers, to dress her or to give her premature lessons on life and boys (she’s gonna be a handful if she’s half Vela…)
I realize this is not exactly my first time to be an aunt, and that I have lived away for a long time now, however I didn’t expect it to be this hard.  To shed this many tears that I am missing out on this big event in my brother’s life.  To gather around her crib and talk about how she’s named in memory of her Grandpa whose ears she, unfortunately, has.  And whose heart she also would have stolen.
In the midst of missing this event I am also beginning to forge relationships with not only my fellow first years but also other seminary students.  We are going to start getting to the point where we share with each other many personal stories and events that I’m not ready to share.  Vulnerability scares me and although I want this community to work and be deep, it’s hard.
The benefit though, is that even after five short days of community building, I thoroughly enjoy everyone I have met.  I have enjoyed getting to know some people that I already feel a bond with and am looking forward to bonding more with those I am still getting to know.
Seminary is going to be a wonderfully stretching experience for me – that I knew.  What I did not anticipate was how much my heart would hurt this time being away from my family.  I love my little Isabella, and cannot wait to hold her, to watch her parents love her and to see her big sister shine with pride.  In short, I can’t wait to meet this very special little girl.

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