…but I think it makes him proud of me.
Ah … Summer. Deep breaths of air filled with the smells of grilling and a hint of sunscreen. The sounds of laughter and good music floating all around you. Gentle creaks of the porch swings and books that take you to far away places that only exist in someone’s imagination. The knowledge that it doesn’t matter how late you stay up because tomorrow morning the only thing that awaits you is a cup of really good coffee. That’s the name of the game for this girl, at least for a little bit.
This past week and a half has been filled with all of these things and more. I know that this won’t last forever, especially since Hebrew will be here before I know it but until then, I’m enjoying the laziness of no work, no classes and no responsibility. This last year was a challenging one, getting back into school mode, moving to a new city and finding a new community to call my own. It was rewarding to say the least, totally worth it. I know this because even though I love being at home, I find myself longing to be back in my little apartment on Carmen and staying out late with friends.
But for a period of time I am here, in the sunshine of Colorado (if the sun comes back out ever). I am able to see my goddaughter off when she leaves for China and welcome her back to hear all her crazy stories. I am able to celebrate my niece’s 6th birthday with a bowling Justin Beiber party, I am able to rock my 9 month old niece to sleep in our over stuffed black chair. I am able to have long lunches/dinners/coffees with my dear friends that have known me so long we have trouble remembering when/how we became friends in the first place.
My summer is all about slow, deliberate movements or more so, moments. It’s about the time you take to slow down and enjoy the people and things around you but to be deliberate in those moments. To draw near to those who are called “loved ones” and to pull away from those who make you feel less of who you know you are. Part of the reason for this, in my case, is merely the amount of time I have here and with certain people. The farther away I move from this home state of mine, the more I realize that my time spent here is so very valuable. And this may be my last extended visit here and I’m trying my hardest to be intentional in who and where I spend my time.
I joke about “the one thing I’ve learned in seminary” with various people. My answer usually depends on the crowd but I will say, one of the more valuable lessons I’ve learned is to enjoy the people I’m with at any given moment. Authentic community grows out of being present in people’s lives. To shut off the digital world and spend time with the people in front of you. Which is part of the reason I quit “the book” … to sort of force my relationships to be more authentic.
So, if I lack the time or energy to blog this summer, then so be it. But I predict I may be blogging more, simply because of the mere fact that I like sharing my life here, the things I’m learning and battling with. And I’m sure those will be a lot, since I am currently reading 4 books. (not an all time high for me, but up there) as well as spending time with people who bring out that introspective part of my personality. Those who spend the time calling me on my crap and allowing me to process the jumbled mess that I call my head. I’m looking forward to more of this life here and hopefully sharing it with you all that read the blog…. all five of you.
Lastly, because Jill likes to tell me that my blog titles rarely relate to my posts, or make sense (pot – kettle), this blog title comes from a song I found from Steph’s blog a few weeks ago and it struck a chord in my heart. It’s called Naive by Sleeping at Last and in a lot of ways I think it sums up my first year of seminary. You can read into this statement whatever you like, but instead you should maybe just ask me why.
…but I think it makes him proud of me.