For all things are from Him

I know sometimes that I rag on the whole being unemployed thing, because quite honestly, most of the time I don’t like it. BUT, I will say that there have been some great fruitful things that have come out of it. Mostly, I have found a new kind of dependence on God. I’ve frequently used the phrase “God provides” without really having a working understanding of what that even means. I moved home in late August without the slimmest idea of how long I’d be here or even how I would stay afloat. I can honestly say that these past 5 and a half months have looked nothing like I thought they would, and neither do the coming 6 months.
So I’ve decided to comprise a sort of list. A “What God has provided” list for me to take a moment and look back on. Shall we??
There of course is the obvious …. Time. Time to spend with my family in a horrible time of our lives. Time to spend with my goddaughter in what is proving to be one of the most difficult and forming years of her young life. Time to wrap my head around what it means to be a Seminary student. Time to just breathe and not have responsibilities.
Then there is a different kind of friendship. Most of my time here is spent with a very small group of people and almost all of them are married and with children of various ages. I don’t know what exactly that means about the stage of life I am. What I do know is that I am being shaped by my time with these women (and men). I am understanding more fully the work that goes into having a successful marriage and raising kids. I am being exposed to several types of parenting and the pros and cons of them. I am enjoying having these influences and knowing that each of these friends love me for who I am and the place I am in right now. They are great.
Also in the friendship category is what I’m going to call new friendship skills. This one needs to be split into two…
I’m learning in this time, how to be a better long distance friend. Now I’m not cured, I still have a hard time and sometimes let long distance get the best of me. But I find myself valuing the smallest forms of communication like texting or facebook chatting to the longer ones like skype or phone calls. (time wise). I am learning to make the effort to be in better communication and to have a better relationship with people farther away.
Second half – I am learning to be more real and less assuming with my friends here. I am allowing myself to have emotions and feel them and share them with my friends. I have long assumed that I am a “burden” on my friends when I’m hurting. That if I share what I’m really thinking that they’ll be like, ‘I’m out.’ I shared this with one of my friends this weekend and she was less than thrilled to hear that I’ve felt that way and clearly told me that she never expressed that toward me. It was good to hear, even though deep down I knew it. I am attempting at being more present with my friends despite my mood and realizing that even when I think I want to be alone, sometimes I’d rather be with them.
Next up is financially. I am still amazed at how God has continually provided for me exactly when I needed it. Whether that be a house-sitting job, a babysitting job or helping my mom with her business or even a change in insurance to save me money. He has kept me afloat financially and that is more than I can imagine. He is a Great God indeed.
Lastly, He has provided me with opportunities. Opportunities to do ministry with a wonderful group of 5th and 6th graders. Opportunities to talk ministry (which I sorely miss). Opportunities to serve others, and to be served. Opportunities to grow in my own faith. This time has not been fruitless and has not made me feel worthless (as a whole) because of the things that He provides in this category. Some of which I have talked about on here and will continue to talk about.
Mostly I just want to be thankful with this post. Thankful for all He has provided for me and the chances I get to look back and say, Wow God, look what you did. I don’t think in our culture we look at the little things He gives us every day enough.

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