if only you would keep me in your thoughts

Last night my brother sent me this video my niece Bizzywho is now 7 and 1/2 months old:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evJm4tSTl_E&w=480&h=390]
There are two things that I love about this video, and one thing that I only think is so-so.  The first I love is that I have no idea what she finds so incredibly funny.  She tries to crawl, instantly falls down and just starts this deep laugh that I wasn’t even sure was possible at such a young age.  And yet there she sits, laughing her little heart out.
Secondly, I love that about half-way through the video she pauses, looking into the camera and at that moment you hear my other niece, Benny (5 and 1/2 years old) yell out, “Bizzie!!” which makes me think she’s doing something silly to cause her sister to laugh.  And Bizzy starts all over again.
The last thing that I only think is so-so (but would admit I think I love it too), is the fact that Bizzy seems to have inherited my laugh.  I’m not sure if that’s really something that is inherited, but if you have ever heard me laugh, you know it’s true.  I have one of those laughs that I kind of hate because it is so loud and I just cannot help it.  Isabella has a laugh like that.  However, on a baby it’s SUPER cute.  Or maybe I just think it is cause she’s my niece.
I love that my brother sends me videos and pictures like the one above of Bizzy eating a french fry (which I’m pretty sure she shouldn’t be eating).  I love that he tries his hardest to keep me in the loop.  But on some level, it’s just not enough.  I miss both of these little girls with my whole heart.  I pray for them every time I think about them, which is often.  Some nights I just wish I could tuck them into bed or read stories with them instead of seeing them on a computer screen or saying good night on the phone.  I miss them so much it hurtsat times.
And yet, I know that I am here for a reason.  I get that confirmation every few days and I’m glad to be here.  I just wish that here and there were just a little bit closer.  At least close enough that I could see them every couple weeks, instead of every few months.  But until that is a reality again, I will keep looking at pictures and videos.  I will keep praying for them and the women they will become.  I will keep calling my house in hopes that Benny will be in the mood to talk to her favorite Tia rather than watch iCarly.  I will continue to love them from 1000 miles away.

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