It’s #FridayFive Day! And this one is intriguing to me! Kelly writes about her Five Dinner Guests that she wants to invite over. She chose five women to speak into her life. I’m going in a similar vein but a little differently – Five Dinner Parties I’d love to throw and the people I’d want to gather around my table. Women I love and/or admire that I’d invite over for some good food.
My people.
I borrow this phrase from Grey’s Anatomy – the people in my life that I choose to surround myself with who lift me up and care for me the most. These women are my ride or die friends, and they are scattered all over the US now. One in Northern Cali, one in Seattle, three in Denver, three here in Illinois. I’d gather them all around my table and watch them interact. We’d laugh, share stories and talk about what God’s done in our lives. Someday – I hope this is a reality.
The women whose words have changed me
There are a few authors and speakers whose books have significantly impacted my life. Women who have bravely shared their stories in writing and encourage others to do so as well. I’d love to meet each of these women, I’d love to be mentored by them, but at the very least, I’d love to sit around a table and hear about their journeys. This invite list would include Jen Hatmaker, Shauna Niequist, Sarah Bessey, Rachel Held Evans, Bianca Juarez-Olthoff and probably more that I’m forgetting.
The Real Housewives
I know, I know – I shouldn’t be admitting this but I love the Real Housewives shows. It’s my guilty pleasure – I find them fascinating and season after season I find myself intrigued by what’s going on in their lives. I don’t condone a lot of what they say or do but a lot of them actually seem like fascinating women. I’d be really interested in sitting down with them – probably at Villa Blanca and just observe them. That dinner would be Bethenny Frankel, Heather Thompson, Heather Dubrow, Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Caroline Manzo… I think that’s all.
The Celebrities
While we’re talking about famous people – let’s just get this one out of the way. Famous women who inspire and fascinate me. Women who’ve used their platform to encourage and lift up other women. I want to gather them all up, at some random New York restaurant and hear their stories. Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler, Kerry Washington, Jenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey, Sara Bareilles, Drew Barrymore.
Pastors and World Changers
These are women, within my denomination or who I’ve met through church and work. For them I’d make it more of a retreat, a time away that we could rest from ministry and pour into each others lives. This one is last in list but close to my heart. I’d invite friends and pastors I admire, seminary professors who poured into me. I would love to have them mentor me, encourage me, walk alongside me. These are women who have been doing ministry a lot longer than me, who I would love to learn from.
Who would you invite to dinner if you could?
and I learned to dance with the fear that I'd been running from
This week’s #FridayFive’s prompt is Fear/Fearless. Over on MrsDisciple.com, Kelly writes about the truths that she fights fear with – truths given by God to his people through the Bible. It’s a really good post – plus a great giveaway! You should all go over there and read it too – okay? Okay!
Fear is a tricky thing. It creeps up on you and can keep you from living well. It’s a real emotion that stems from places of deep feeling – deep love and deep hurt. Fear of losing loved ones, fear of being alone, fear of sickness, tragedy, not living up to your potential. Fear is real, even when we don’t think it is, and the best way we can deal with it is to face it head on. So for my #FridayFive, I present….
#FridayFive – Ways to live Fearless
I’m no master. But I have dealt with some major fear in my life and at some point I had to look it in the eye and tell it that it wasn’t going to hold me back anymore. (And then keep doing it over and over again.) Here are five things or ways I deal with fear in my life.
The promises of God
(Like I said at the top, go read Kelly’s post for more on this one) The Bible is full of some great truths on God’s desires for our lives. He desires the best, he wants us to be whole and complete – but we live in a broken world. Things happen to us, in us, through us that cause deep deep pain. That’s what fear comes from, the deep pain we’ve either already experienced or have seen others experience. But when we read God’s words we know that he wants us to have the beautiful and free life, that one day we will be fully reconciled. We will have shalom – wholeness. We rest assured on the promises of God.
The Presence of God
I did a Beth Moore study once where she talked about fear. She encouraged us to name our biggest fear. To fill in the blank – If ___________ happens then _________. The first blank is where our fear goes and the second one she filled in with “God.” As if to say, if our biggest fears came true, then God. He will help us to pick up the pieces. About a week after that happened, my greatest fear actually happened. And she was right – God was there. His presence was so tangible in my life during that time and it helped me to walk through it. And even though now the blank has new fears in it, I can point back to what he’s already done and say – I’d be okay. It would hurt, but I’d be okay.
My People
That’s what I call my community. My closest friends and family. In the words of Jen Hatmaker – they’re my tribe. My people. And they help me to live fearlessly because I know they have my back. They are the best encouragers, the best listening ears, the best prayers. They are my ride or die people. They help me to see the beauty in my life, even in the midst of pain. They are real and vulnerable and they speak such truth and kindness into my life. I can look fear in the face because I know on either side of me, I’m flanked by my people.
The Beauty of Creation
Jesus tells his followers in the Gospels not to worry because God’s got it. Then he points to creation all around him to demonstrate his point. God has made this world around us to live in such harmony, he has orchestrated such rhythms – how can I not see that he can orchestrate rhythm from my chaos. Or what I see as chaos. In him all things are possible – even the healing of a broken heart.
Laughter
It really is the best medicine. Whenever I’m feeling the pull of fear, the weight of this world crushing in all around me – I just seek out some laughter. I call home and ask for my silliest niece. I call up my friends and say I need to dance it out. Sometimes you need to cry, to talk it all out. But other times you just need to let go and laugh. You just need a reminder that life is good and that for this moment, you’re okay. And then you just take a moment at a time.
Fear is real. Don’t let anyone downplay your fears. But when you look them in the eye, you can live fearless. What helps you to live fearless?
you feel like my favorite song
It’s #FridayFive time! This week’s prompt is Smiles. I like this one, it leaves a lot open to interpretation. But over on her site, my friend Kelly describes it as a chance to take stock and be thankful throughout the week. We don’t have to wait until Thanksgiving to be thankful for the people and things in our lives that make us smile. So here’s my interpretation of #FridayFive – Smiles
#FridayFive – Smiles
Excuse me Pastor Alicia
This past Sunday was a busy morning for me. A lot of Sundays are busy but this one was especially busy because our Worship Director was out of town which mean that the upfront things we usually divide between three people were divided between two. I had a lot of up front pieces and I was teaching in our Kids Club classroom as well. My mind was racing for most of the morning. There was this particular moment though that made me smile … I was standing in the hallway, talking to a member of our congregation when I suddenly felt this presence beside me. It was one of our elementary kids standing about two feet to my left staring up at me and patiently waiting for me to be done talking. I looked down at him and said hi and this huge grin spread across his face. He just wanted to tell me there were lemons on the Hospitality table and that he had eaten 7 already … before service had even started.
There are SO many aspects of my job that I love but this one, the moments where my kids come up to me with an agenda – a moment from their week, a story about their teacher, a question about life – these moments are my favorite. I love their little smiles and wide eyes as they watch for my reaction, wait for me to respond. I love it so much.
Uncontrollable Laughter in Youth Group
We had middle school youth group this week. One thing I love about these kids is that they are at that age where they get together and there is no controlling them. I’m not saying our kids are disrespectful – they really aren’t. But there are these moments when I’m trying to talk about something with them and they get on a train of thought and just can’t get off. Then someone says something funny and it just derails. The laughter that comes after these moments is one of my favorite sounds. They just can’t help it. It’s contagious too because I look around at my leaders and they are all laughing too. Seriously, if you need a good laugh, come sit in on youth group – you won’t regret it.
HI TIA – I LOVE YOU TIA – BYE TIA!
I try to touch base with my nieces every week, at least one moment where they hear my voice telling them that I love them. Even if it’s quick, even if it’s just on speaker phone as they are going to school. On a good week I get a whole conversation with each of them, telling me about their lives. On a not so great week I get my middle niece saying “Are you ready to be done talking to me now?” But I can’t hold it against her, she’s five and her attention span is not great.
But I’ve been noticing this trend with my youngest niece. She’s been conditioned on what to say when she’s talking to me. It’s probably because for a while she was learning to talk so my mom would say “Say I love you Tia” and she would repeat. Now she will literally get on the phone and say “Hi Tia – I love you Tia – Bye Tia” and be done. It’s hilarious and I love it. Other times she kidnaps the phone and just babbles for five minutes. There is no in between – what a joy 2 years old life is!
Long reunion hugs
I have a great group of friends. I’ve said it before. But Monday morning found me having coffee and work time with a friend who is also a youth pastor. I hadn’t seen her in a few weeks so when I got to her house, our hug was so long – like we hadn’t seen each other in weeks. It was so good to be with her, talking about ministry, about life, about relationships – she’s a dear confidante and I can’t believe I am lucky enough to call her my friend and colleague in ministry.
Similarly, the previous Friday I hung out with our other two friends and the same thing happened. I opened the door and was immediately embraced – and interrogated on the weeks we’ve been apart. I wouldn’t trade these three women for the world.
A good ole fashion knowing smile
Ever have one of those moments where you’re in a group of people and something happens and you meet the eye of someone in the group and you share that smile – the one that says a whole lot without any words behind it. I love those – I love the relationships behind them. I had several of those this week and I loved each and every one of them.
What are your Five Smiles from this week? What things made you smile and be appreciative of the world around you?
#FridayFive – the perks of being 30
I’m only ONE day late this time! I’m going to get the hang of this by the end of the month. #FridayFive was started by my fellow FTL Launch Team member who writes a blog called Mrs. Disciple. Each Friday she posts a topic for us all to write on and a place for all of us to link up. Today, as I wandered over to her site and I scrolled through her post I realized that she and I actually met in Austin. We chatted for a few minutes after dinner at this great BBQ place and I didn’t realize she was the same woman that writes this blog – which I’ve grown to love. So sorry, Kelly, for being so slow on the uptake! (That’s the phrase right?) That just goes to show you how crazy that weekend in Austin really was for all of us.
Anyways, without further ado… This week’s #FridayFive is:
The Perks of Being 30 (and single)
I’m throwing my own little flair into this one – adding the “and single” part for me. So many times in my life I get asked why I’m still single at my age, whether overtly or more subtly. And no – not by anyone who actually has a relationship with me, but it comes up. So I’m taking this chance to be a little thankful for the life that I lead.
Confidence in myself – It wasn’t like a magical switch on the day I turned 30, although that would be nice. But it’s a been a slow feeling growing within myself over the last few years. I’ve suddenly began to find that self-confidence people are always telling me about. The one that comes from actually listening and believing the encouragements people give me and owning those things I’ve been gifted.
Getting to be the fun Aunt – not just to my three little loves but to all my friends’ kids. This is an extremely rare opportunity that I get to have where I get to invest in the lives of my friends and their littles. Being so far away from my own family, it means that much more to me to be able to be Auntie Alicia to my friends’ kids. I realize that this stage won’t last forever, but for now, I’m loving the opportunity.
Stability – It took me a while to get to this place. I’ve moved around a lot since college – I always had an expiration date on my position, on my living situation, on my time in any given city. But now, this place I’m in, it’s more permanent. It feels stable but not stale. It definitely feels like I could be here for a while. I have a great job, a great apartment, great friends – all in all, it’s a great life.
Friends – Oh these friends of mine. Being 30 means that I have adult friends – real adult friends. There’s something about being a little bit older and making friends – it’s at the same time extremely hard and extremely rewarding. It takes work because you aren’t just naturally surrounded by like minded people the way you were in college, in grad school – but it’s also extremely rewarding because we’ve grown out of our insecurities and mean spiritedness. We’re kinder, we’re more accepting and we’re more vulnerable. My friends are amazing, they love me well through all the ups and downs of life. It took me a while to find them, but now I have them and I want to hold onto them forever.
Free Time – Even though my job keeps me really busy, I also have a fair amount of free time. Time to read, write letters, color in coloring books (yes I’m serious), hang out with friends, etc. It’s a perk of being single and again, I realize it won’t last forever. But for now, I’m really enjoying the independence and flexibility of spending my time exactly as I would like to.
That was fun! Looking around at this stage of life and taking stock of what I’m thankful for in this time. I know these things will change, will only get better as I move through the stages of life. But for now, I’m really enjoying this time of life. I didn’t freak out about turning 30 like I feared I would a few years ago. I ran full throttle into my thirties. Thirty, flirty and thriving – ain’t that right?
Can I have your attention?
#FridayFive on Wednesday
Well, I’m a few days late on this #FridayFive but mostly because I was on vacation last week and forgot that in order for a post to go up on Friday, I have to be able to write it. I’m still getting used to it! So here’s my #FridayFive on a Wednesday:
Five Favorite Quotes
(In no particular order)
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love. -Washington Irving
I first heard this quote on Criminal Minds and I instantly fell in love. I have no idea what his context was when he said it, but in our world today it is really hard to remember that tears are okay and at times a necessity.
Darkness cannot drive our darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
There is a version of this quote hanging on my living room wall. It’s a personal reminder to me as well as a vocational reminder – I cannot fight darkness with darkness, I need the Light of Christ to shine through.
Don’t fastforward to a future you haven’t yet earned. – Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet
I wrote on this quote a few weeks back. It rings true in my ears so much these days.
I pray for your kindness more than your success because the latter without the former is a tragedy. – Jen Hatmaker, For the Love
Of course I had to include one from Jen. Duh. I love this quote and I pray it for all my kids and youth, that we are sowing kindness in a world of cruelty.
Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace. -Frederick Buechner
This is a new find for me. My friend posted it on Facebook yesterday and I loved it. It touched my heart and pulled on it, asking me to keep it in mind.
it's the most wonderful time of the year
In an (yet another) attempt to write more, to be inspired to write more, I joined a writing group on Facebook. It’s a group of writers that all were on the For the Love Launch Team with me. It’s become a great space for ideas, for sharing and for the opportunity to guest post.
There’s a blogger in our group started a #FridayFive link up. Each month she gives us the five topics and we can write a post and then link it up on her page. So here’s my first #FridayFive:
Five Fall Traditions
There is no question in my mind – Fall is my favorite season. I have been head over heels with this week’s weather here. It’s crisp, it’s chilly and I get to wear my boots and scarves. insert heart eyes emoji.
So here are my 5 Fall Traditions that help me maximize the :
1. Coffee
Or more specifically – coffee dates. Obviously coffee is a year round tradition because I’m more Lorelei Gilmore than Mary Camden. But in the Fall is when I take my coffee obsession up a notch. I try to create coffee dates within my week, whether that be with friends, students, family or just myself. In the fall, a piping hot cup of coffee being drank while wearing a warm cozy sweater is more about slowing down and igniting your senses than it is about caffeination. Although that’s important too.
2. Football
Oh Football. The fall is when I welcome you back into my life. I welcome back lazy Sundays watching the Broncos play on my TV (or on my laptop if the Bears are playing too). I love (almost) everything about football. The camaraderie, the teamwork, the human interest stories, the family ties… I love it. Football has always had a big piece of my heart because of my dad. My dad loved the Broncos more than anyone I know. I learned the game sitting in his lap watching taped games from the 80s. I knew the players strengths and weaknesses and I idolized the players alongside my dad. And even now, even as I live on my own in another state, every weekend finds me watching my beloved team.
3. Fall Retreats
This is a newer tradition for me – I might only be three years in. But every fall there is a retreat for pastors and their families put on at one of our beautiful camps and planned by the pastors in our conference. This year I think is my third year going, and I love it. I only get away for the day but it’s great to get out of the routine of life and into community with God and others who get you. I head up next week and I am pretty excited for a day to hear from a great speaker and to spend much needed time with my friends and colleagues in ministry. It’s good for my soul, for my friendships and for my ministry.
4. Fall Colors
I love fall colors. And I love the tradition of taking pictures of these vibrant colors against blue skies. I walk a little slower, drive the long way to work and simply enjoy these colors. I’m sorry in advance if you dislike the amount of pictures I’ll post on Instagram. But these colors are the perfect backdrop for fall activities – apple picking, farmers markets, coffee with friends, walks, soccer games… the colors are coming for you!
5. Thanksgiving in Denver with Family
No matter where I live, I always go to Denver for Thanksgiving. I missed one year and it was the hardest day I’ve had in a long time. Thanksgiving is maybe my favorite holiday because it’s just about family – there’s no presents, there’s no outside traditions, it’s just about time spent with the people I love the most in this world. Another reason I’ve come to love Thanksgiving is that my nieces don’t have school the whole week – we just get to play, have fun and enjoy the fall together. This picture is actually taken two years ago at my middle niece’s Pumpkin Pie Social at her day care. We only have one more niece at day care so I’m really looking forward to our last few Pumpkin Pie Socials – the one special event that I’m ever in town for. I will sit in those tiny plastic chairs and eat Pumpkin Pie (which I don’t really like, to be honest) for one moment with my niece that I get to experience in person. Another Thanksgiving tradition is baking with my nieces for Thanksgiving Dinner, we make a dessert together from scratch and they love to help. All day is about cooking, the Macy’s parade and football. All night is about eating and laughing around the table. It’s the best day of the year, if you ask me.
So there you have it – my first #FridayFive – what are your favorite Fall Traditions?