The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. It’s the combination of retreat season and our denomination’s pastors’ conference a couple weeks ago. Add in a couple of new things going on in my “normal (non ministry)” world and you get the insane pace I’ve been running lately. My apartment has been in a constant state of chaos – laundry half done, books scattered and shoes/purses everywhere. Where did I get all these bags and shoes?!
All that to say, I’ve popping back in for a little #FridayFive and an update. I’ve been keeping up fairly well with all my 2016 healthy habits – except keeping my apartment clean and blogging. But I have been writing more – they just aren’t quite ready for mass consumption yet – they’re coming soon, I hope.
But today’s #FridayFive topic got me intrigued, especially with Valentine’s day this weekend. I’ve been so thankful recently for all my wonderful friends who do life beside me (even from afar). So today’s topic is giving me a chance to talk about how to love well! So here we go!
#FridayFive: Five Ways to Show Your Love
From your Love Language
The other day one of my friends said to me, “My love language is quality time, so you must know I love you because spend a lot of time together.” We all have ways that are easiest for us to express love. My love languages are touch and quality time. When I’m expressing love for my friends it’s by spending time with them, just us, talking about life or doing something together. I’m also a hugger – which makes some people uncomfortable so I lean more on the time one with some people. The easiest way to show your love is to know what your predispositions are and then love well out of them.
Learning their Love Language
I have an older brother and like most brother-sister relationships we sometimes have a communication issue. There was a season of life where I felt like I really needed him to be there for me and he always seemed really distant. The ways I needed him to love me weren’t happening and it was really frustrating. I was getting ready to move across the country and he took my car to get serviced, washed it inside and out and then packed all my belongings inside of it. That’s when it hit me – his love language is service. It was never on my radar because how often do brothers and sisters actually serve each other. I looked at him through a new lens that day – recounting all the ways he’s always taken care of me, subtly. It changed our relationship completely. I was able to appreciate him more which made me love him better.
Brag on your friends
There’s this hashtag going around lately: #FangirlYourFriends, I’m not sure if we started it but my For the Love sisters have been doing it really well. They are bragging on each other and their endeavors all over the internet. We all know it feels good to be recognized for the things we are doing, to be encouraged in those moments that we feel like all our work is fruitless. I think we need to take to the internet and brag on our friends more. Fangirl away, or Fanguy (is that a thing?) away! Whether publicly or privately – if you see your loved ones doing their life well, tell them and tell the world. What if the internet was just all of us bragging on each other instead of pulling people down? I’d read that Facebook feed!
Be Kind
Kindness is contagious. It’s the best and easiest way (in my humble opinion) to show Christ’s love in our world. I often say you should be kind simply because you don’t know what the person standing in front of you has gone through that day. Following the rule of being kind helps you to not accidentally stomp on someone’s heart.
Then I heard a quote today on a podcast that really hit me. The podcaster said, “If you’re not kind on the internet, you’re not a kind person.” It really struck me. The internet is the place where we get to say what we “really mean” so if that’s the case, this quote is true. The internet gives us the freed to share with little accountability. Think about that as we go into this political season. I’m not saying don’t call out truth, I’m saying to do it with love and kindness.
Don’t be afraid to love
I know I’m typing this one for my own benefit more than anything. Don’t let past hurts keep you from showing love to others. I’m a very guarded person. I’ve been hurt a lot by close people, so I only let certain people in. But it means that I am sometimes fearful to share how I really feel. I shut down instead of express myself. I’m working on getting better at it, but it’s a process. When we hold back our expressions of love, it’s holding back the chance for deeper relationships with others. That whole “love your neighbor” commandment Jesus gave us – we’re not doing it well when we allow the pain of the past to hinder our expressions of love. We aren’t being Christ when we’re too worried about the pain it will cause ourselves. This one takes work, painful work of digging into your past pains and risk of loving people who may not be able to return it. But I think it’s worth it. I’ll let you know when I find out.
This weekend is our High School Winter Retreat – so I will be spending Valentine’s at one of my favorite camps with my some of my favorite HS kids. Plus some of my closest friends will also be there, so I’m looking forward to showing love this weekend!
How are you showing love this weekend?
As always, I’m linking up with my FTL sister Kelly for #FridayFive. Click over to her post on Five Ways to Show a Stranger the Love of God!
kindness is difficult for me, but I know its something I ought to cultivate in my life.
Can I just #fangirl you today? What a lovely post and so full of wise words. Kindness is a great place to start; it’s the universal love language! Thanks for linking up!
I’m going to #fangirl you big time. You are such an awesome and authentic writer. I always look forward to your blog. Smart, thoughtful words that are loving and concise. So glad you are you. (I will hug you when I see you)!??
Your last one speaks directly to me, so it wasn’t just for yourself! 🙂 I need to forgive some past hurts, and move on, as I know I am missing out being stuck in this fearful place.