This morning I had a meeting with my spiritual director. I made the comment that I felt like my life felt a little like that saying – “I can’t see the forest for the trees” and she responded with, “It seems like you can’t even see the trees, it’s like everything around you is a blur.”
I don’t think I could have agreed with her more. The last few weeks of life has gone at an insane pace. Our pastor came back from Maternity Leave, we said good-bye to our youth pastor, I moved into a new role, we had a local service trip, I’m gearing up for my ordination service and for our denomination’s big conference for high schoolers which I am on the planning team.
And in the midst of all of that, I’ve been making some incredible new friends out here, traveled home to celebrate The Goddaughter’s graduation, re-signed my apartment lease, planned a trip to Austin for the Launch Party of For the Love by Jen Hatmaker and joined the planning team for that party. (Seriously girl – it’s time to start saying no!)
The world around me has started to spin and my heart is calling out to me to slow down. My heart is saying that it’s time to take some inventory, to spend sweet moments with God and to just remember that I can’t do it all and that he loves me regardless of how much I get done and what status I have in any of my circles.
But my head is reminding me of deadlines, curriculums that need looking at, programs that need revisiting, background checks that need updates, e-mails that need answering and a growing list of to dos….
My head and my heart are competing. Both are right, both are important. But I need to pay a little more attention to my heart right now. I need to follow it’s prompting and get back to what I need to hear. Whispers of a God who loves me, encouragement that I can do it, refueling for the journey. I need to take the time for Him. Don’t get lost. Even though the world does spin madly on.